Mess Up My Bunk With Me
by Beguile
Summary: Two-thirds of their threesome doesn't know what sex is, let alone how to do it well. Poe takes it upon himself to get them educated. Turns out they all have a lot to learn.


Disclaimer: the characters and concepts in this story are the property of Disney, Lucasfilm, and their related affiliates. This is an amateur writing effort meant for entertainment purposes only.

Summary: Two-thirds of their threesome doesn't know what sex is, let alone how to do it well. Poe takes it upon himself to get them educated.

Turns out Finn likes taking control, Rey likes praise, and Poe has some learning to do himself.

Warnings: things are about to get…sexy. Awkward, dorky sexy. And kinky.

Author's Notes: cards on the table – I have written smut once before. Once. So I beg you, Readers, be patient and gentle with me as I dive into the mechanics of polyamory, threesomes, and characters' respective kinks. I am terribly nervous about posting this to the site. I posted and deleted it twice from AO3. I mention that not as a plea for sympathy but to bolster my confidence. I won't delete it. I'm excited to write this story.

This takes place sometime after TFA. Rey is back at the resistance base and has had some training. Honestly, though, those details are secondary.

Beyond that, I hope you enjoy…and that this isn't terrible. Cheers!

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Mess Up My Bunk With Me

-Threesome-

"Okay, okay," Poe extricates himself gruffly from the human knot being tied on his bunk and takes to pacing in a wobbly oval until his blood flows back into his brain. The red patch on the top of his chest slowly dissipates; the heat on the soles of his feet recedes. He scrubs his face, encouraging his thoughts towards the conclusion he's already drawn. When that fails, he comes out and asks, "Just what do you think you two are doing?"

From the expressions on Finn and Rey's faces, you'd think he's the one who doesn't know what he's doing. They seem perfectly content to lie there in various states of undress. Clothing hanging off their limbs. Their arms, legs, and torsos tangled together, despite how uncomfortable Poe knows they have to be. Rey is the most flexible of the three of them, and her delicate arm – bent almost into a figure-eight around Finn's – is shaking from the exertion. Finn's limbs join in shaking a second later, but one glance at each other strengthens their resolve. They refuse to detangle from the other, lest they look like the weaker of the two.

Rey's grin and Finn's nervous laughter are the final bits of proof Poe needs. He rolls his eyes. "We're…having fun," Rey says brightly. "What do you think-"

"Yeah, what do you think-" Finn joins her.

"-you're doing?" they say together.

"I'm trying to have sex," Poe declares. "I don't know what you two are doing. I don't think you two know what you're doing."

More laughter and grinning, this time of the colluding type. Rey looking at Finn and shrugging as if to ask, "What is it with him? Does he not know what sex is?" and Finn, sweet Finn, beaming back at her while gesturing in disbelief at Poe as if to agree, "He must not, because obviously, we know what sex is. Sex is what we're doing at this very moment."

Poe hangs his head, dismissing his frustration before looking back to the mess of bodies on his bunk. Finn is doing his best not to slip off the flimsy mattress, while Rey's usual discomfort with physical proximity simmers below the surface of her carefree façade. She tears her torso away from her arms rather than submit to Finn's tightening grasp. It's all Poe can do not to laugh when gravity wins. Finn hits the ground, Rey spins on the bed till she's hanging upside-down, her legs knocking against the wall, and that's when their faces fall. The jig is finally up.

"We have no idea what we're doing," Finn admits.

"Yeah, I got that," Poe nods.

"Speak for yourself," Rey glares at Finn. "I was starting to figure it out."

"Rey, Lovely, I have seen you figure out a great many things, so believe me when I tell you that you have no idea what you're doing."

Poe tries to put it as delicately as possible, but there's no delicate way to tell Rey that she lacks knowledge or the skills for something. Even if it's something she has no desire to be able to do. The mere thought of being unprepared or ignorant is bad enough without having a friend point it out to her. She rights herself on the bed, face stacked into a series of hard lines, "You're an expert, are you?"

Delicacy having failed, Poe gives her the hard truth, "Compared to both of you, yes."

She scoffs him, "I didn't find your contributions any more enjoyable than Finn's."

"Hey!" Finn shoots her a hurt look. For a moment, Rey's features soften towards him, until Finn tosses his head and admits, "Yeah, I was pretty terrible."

"We were all terrible," Poe offers peaceably. Rey accepts with a slight tilt of her head; she can handle not being the best so long as everybody is as much the worst as she is. Poe can't help but poke the bear a little more, "Course I wasn't quite as terrible as you two…"

His shirt flies off the floor and hits him square in the face. Rey reveals nothing when he removes it. She sits with Jedi Master level placidity, one eyebrow slightly higher than the other as if to urge him to say more. Go ahead – she dares him.

Poe raises a hand, "We were all terrible, but we don't have to stay terrible."

"I'm up for anything," Finn raises his hand, "Absolutely anything except what just happened."

"I'm right there with you, buddy," Poe agrees. They both look at Rey, who continues doing her best impersonation of Master Skywalker.

She finally relents under the combined power of their stare, "Anything but that. Ever."

"That's what I like to hear."

Finn looks between them, "So where do we start?"

"Well, we start with what we know," Poe takes a seat in front of them, cross-legged on the floor. He's eye level with Finn. Rey flops over on the bed, head on her hands, to see him better. "What do you both know?"

A pregnant pause, very telling, follows, wherein Finn glances nervously at Rey who is trying not to glance nervously at Finn. "What do we know about what?" Finn asks, looking suspiciously back at Poe. As if he's the one who doesn't know.

"About sex," he says. "What do you two know about sex?"

Another pause, this time without the glances. Neither Finn nor Rey takes their eyes off of Poe. There's no attempt to lie; nothing would sound convincing. He's taken aback, "You two don't know anything?"

"The First Order didn't exactly cover it in basic training," Finn states. "They were too busy brainwashing and indoctrinating us."

Rey pats him on the shoulder compassionately, and she allows Finn to take it in his for a few brief moments before drawing it away. He smiles at her faintly; she smiles back.

"What about you, Rey?" Poe asks.

"The scavengers on Jakku gave me a lesson on basic anatomy," she admits. Finn's confession loosens her tongue to provide greater details. "Beyond that, I…don't know. It wasn't a priority what with surviving and all."

She adds the last bit more for her own benefit than either of her companions.

Rey doesn't allow them to ruminate on her misfortune long, "And you, Commander? What do you know?"

Poe smirks, "There is no better time for us to be on a first-name basis than when the three of us are about to engage in a sexual tryst, Rey."

"You're of a higher rank."

"Says the apprentice of Master Skywalker."

"Does this mean we get to call you Padawan?" Finn asks, only half-joking. He's more excited about the title than she is.

"Only Master Skywalker gets to call me that," she reminds him gently. "And very well: I will try to call you by your first name." Not at the moment, however, since it would be too strange.

Poe doesn't push. He gets back to the matter at hand, "I know a lot more than basic anatomy. Less than some of the other pilots on the base, but I don't have a lot of experience outside my own species. Luckily, that means I know a lot of fun things to do with both of you."

Finn points to both him and Rey, "Together or…?"

"Separately," Poe notices the slight gleam in Rey's eyes at him having confessed his ignorance. He smiles at her, "For now."

"So you can teach us?" Finn asks.

"Separately?" Rey adds playfully.

"For now," Poe nods. He rises back to his feet, shirt in hand. "You two are going to have to do some homework for me though. And we are going to have to establish some ground rules."

Finn nods, the nervousness draining out of him. Structure always sets him at ease. Rey, too, seems more settled, though she burns with a curiosity that Finn hasn't been allowed to cultivate. "What sort of rules?" she dares to inqure.

"First rule of sex," Poe declares, "we don't do anything that someone isn't comfortable with. We all have to agree to try something or it doesn't get tried."

They nod, Finn especially, "Sounds fair."

"Second, we can change our minds at any time. Starting something does not mean we finish it. Yes means yes up until the moment it doesn't."

More nodding. Poe holds up a third finger and pauses.

"What is it?" Finn asks.

"Third is…third is that we can add new rules at any time," he closes the conversation with a firm nod that Finn mimics. "Okay, now, homework: you two need to do some research. I need you to start thinking about things you might like to try."

"Can't you just try things on us?" Finn asks.

"I can," Poe replies, "but I don't want to be calling the shots. You might not like it when someone else calls the shots." He looks a little too hard at Rey without thinking that Finn's more likely to rebuff domination. His whole life has been a hard lesson in having shots called for him. "When we meet next – separately – I want you both to have a few things you're interested in doing."

Neither of them argue. In fact, they both look totally on board with his plan. Finn does break the silence with a logical question, "How will we know what to ask for without knowing…how it's done?"

Poe sighs. He's forgetting the basic steps, skipping straight ahead to the adventure when his companions clearly don't know what parts are used for what actions. "Okay," he sits back down on the floor, "Here's what you need to know…"

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Happy reading!


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